empty kegs and broken eggs

I am angry. I'm never really sure why, but it seems like that is the only emotion, only feeling left in me. That's not to say that I don't still have my other feelings but it is certainly the most dominant in my head. Between work, classes that I don't want to be in, and a relationship that I don't feel like I can trust(even though I have to reason not to believe that or feel it) I just cannot be happy. Coming into the winter in Illinois some people may call it Seasonal Affect Disorder (how ironic that the acronym is SAD), where due to changes in light exposure and time difference people develop depression like syndromes in the winter. Maybe that's it, or maybe its my long standing feelings of loneliness. Or I think I can do better. I don't know. I'll try to keep up on here and figure it out.

To the 4 people that have viewed any of what I've put down on this blog, thanks I guess.

headache, heart break and noisy bikes

STOP TALKING TO HIM. for today, tomorrow, ever... it'll be for the best.

headache, heart break and noisy bikes

STOP talking to him. Now, tomorrow, forever. There will come a day that he will get what he deserves, and i'll be there to deliver it.

Been a while

Well, it's been a while, but i guess I'll post up again here. Recently I've decided what direction my life is going to take. I'm going into law enforcement, I'm going to marry Jamie, I'm going to keep racing, I'm going to keep working, I'm going to do what I do and enjoy the hell out of my life. Driving to WCC this mornign something triggered my memory of this blog. I miss it, even though I didnt post much on here ever. I'm really not all that bright, not all that smart, dont really think that I can change the workld, but I'm gong to try to keep up here a little more.

Long week

Wed. Jamie's dad's girlfriend's mom died. Only met the woman once at Thanksgiving, but she seemd very cool, very sweet and to be a great woman. Knocked my stupid ex's current boyfriend around the same evening. Last night, thursday, John's grandpa was taken off life support and passed at 3:25AM. So, we're going racing tonight, a funeral tomorrow morning and waiting to hear on the services for John's grandma.

Check your feelings at the gate

This isnt somewhere to just whine and cry. Check your feelings at the gate with your track buy-in. Get over you shit when you get over the bike, get in your car, whatever. Dont expect someone to just give you anything anymore, that's not how life works. And dont leave me fucking messages on FACEBOOK's Honesty Box. If you dont like me, you hate me, whateverish, just FUCKING SAY IT! Quit being a little bitch.

Another week

Another week of driving, not enough riding. Anyone know where I can find a soft waterproof computer bag? Anyway, as long as the rain holds off it should be 10.20's tomorrow out at byron dragway! My hands are KILLING ME. They're dry and all torn up from work. Maybe I should start using some more hand lotion. Oh, and theres like a week left of class, with next semester picked out and lined up, this should be an interesting 7 months.